Let's Get Personal: Haters Gonna Hate

15 Oct 2015

UK based plus size fashion blogger AmandaApparel gets personal about hateful, fatphobic comments, and responds to some of their points in a (hopefully!) productive and positive manner. 

Trigger warnings: fatphobia, fat hate, eating disorder discussion


Have you heard?! I was featured in Buzzfeed's 23 Beautiful Curvy Brides Who Are Slaying This Whole Wedding Thing! I was so pleased to be included in this piece by Nora Whelan, and am so grateful for the response from my friends and loved ones.


However, this is the internet! And a lot of people seem to think that hiding behind a computer makes it 100% okay to be completely rude to other human beings with no consequences. It would be easy to shrug it of like, "Well, trolls will be trolls!" or "It's the internet, what do you expect?" For me, that's not good enough. Trolls are real people, who are being super hateful to other REAL people. So here we go! I'm going to individually respond to a handfull of comments I picked up on the article. 

Dear kittycat84,


Holy stating the obvious Batman. Girl, have you SEEN me? Everything about me is big! Big forehead (more like a 5-6 head amirite?) big boobs, big thighs, big attitude. And my husband? He's BALD. His forehead goes all the way back! Not sure what you were trying to achieve here, but I am pleased to inform you that you do not need an eye exam! Your eyes are working splendidly! Way to go! 

Dear Alternativelover, 


I'm not going to attack you, but may I please see your medical license? Where did you get your medical degree? My weight is absolutely none of your business. So whose business is it? Mine, and my doctor's. Being overweight ISN'T celebrated, it is condemned all day every day. You can't possibly know anything about my health by looking at me, just like you can't know anything about a size 4 girl's health by looking at her. I'm bored by this health concern troll shtick, tbh. You're essentially saying "everyone deserves to feel beautiful" except fat people because they make me uncomfortable. 

Dear sakura0101 and Harryshyuna, 


Do you have a moment to define curvy for me? How about obese? Wow, great job! You cracked the code! I'm a fat woman! But guess what? I'm going to keep on "glorifying obesity." It's pretty clear that we're not glorifying anything. A thin woman isn't going to see my wedding photos and think, "Yes! I want to look like this on my wedding day so I'm going to gain a ton of weight so I can look like her!" The opposite is very true though. People do see models and actors in the media and think "Oh, I wish I looked like them! If I could only stop eating, maybe I'd look as beautiful as they do!" I started this blog so that there would be a greater representation of confident, beautiful fat women on the internet. My goal is to help girls love themselves, so you can take your negativity elsewhere. Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya! 

Dear samanthah44fef6310,


Nora was very sweet, and she did indeed contact me to ask permission to use my photo. I was in no way insulted by being included in this list. I was actually delighted! I think this needs to be a discussion about size, because society has not yet accepted that people of all sizes can be beautiful. People still see my confidence and self love as a radically brave act. Until this becomes normal rather than brave, we need to continue to make this about size. Thin and average sized people are positively represented in the media. Smaller fats are represented more in plus size campaigns than larger fats. We're just trying to even the playing field.


Are my curves really all you can se in my photo? If this is true, I kindly suggest you look again. This was easily the happiest moment of my life, and I was radiant with joy. My husband mirrored these emotions. If you only see my curves, maybe it's you who is part of the problem. 


Whew! That wasn't the easiest thing to write! I don't want to end this post on a negative note, so here are a couple positive comments that made my day! 

Dear lieve764, 


Oh, what a lovely comment! Thank you so much for a drop of positivity in this vast negative ocean! All the best! 

Dear theatercab, 


Oh, another beautiful sweet potato flower! Thank you so much for the kind words! You are so very very lovely! 


More wedding posts here! 


Previous wedding post: Our Big Day - Getting Ready


Previous personal post: Mental Self Help



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hiya! i'm amanda!

Plus size style and fat positive blogger. Born in Kansas City. Matured in Edinburgh Scotland. Feminist killjoy, Instagram fanatic, and avid user of the sparkle emoji. Expect outfit posts, fat activism,
and intersectional feminism.
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